I used to view Saturdays as a day to work hard and play hard. Rich would often begin the day by forcing me to stay in bed and actually sleep in a bit while he would make Sat. brunch. He used to talk about how when we had kids he would make sure this was mommy's morning to just do what I wanted while he would take over. When Ethan was just a newborn, he would often bring me breakfast in bed on Sat. mornings...yes, I know. I was completely spoiled! :-) Then, we would together tackle our list of to-do projects around the house or yard. Being a to-do type of person made this a very exciting day as I would cross off tasks from my list! (Hey, what can I say? It is the little things in life that excite me!) Then, we would often just completely bum out with a movie or meet up with friends or family on Sat. night. I loved Saturdays!! Sometimes Rich would have to work at Timberline on Sat, so we would always reserve our Sunday afternoons for just us! Another day I looked forward to each week...starting out with church together, lunch together, and then often a Sunday siesta!
Well, now I have to accept that my Saturdays look a lot different. First of all, the together factor is completely missing. The realization that my social life is disappearing is becoming more and more evident in my life as well. I struggle to know where exactly I fit in at times. I still have AMAZING friends...but of course, many of them are couples with their families. I also have some great single friends who are very spontaneous and don't often plan ahead. (Fun! But not so easy with a toddler in tow!) I love to be social, but honestly, it was Rich that was the party planner in our relationship. I would prepare the house and the food and HE would invite the people. Again, I wonder??? Is this just partly the stage of life that I am in?
I am also learning to let go of the "getting things done" mentality. After spending 45 minutes calming my son down from a MAJOR melt down today and at least 20 more minutes trying to fix those darn closet doors again, I decided my to-do list was just not a priority. I also got the opportunity to watch my two nieces today for about 4 hours, went to the bank, the grocery store, the gas station to buy oil, broke a glass all over the kitchen floor, cleaned sand off of my son and nieces, and prepared lunch for four. So, I guess I should be happy that I actually got the laundry done, the dishes done, and the kitchen floor swept and mopped! It may not be a HUGE list of things to check off, but I am still setting it all aside and FORCING myself to relax a bit tonight. I think it is time to crack open the new book I got at the library "Creative Correction". ;-)
"Strength comes from choosing to fully trust, pray, and praise. Our circumstances may not change, but in the process we change."
Good reminder for me today!! I KNOW I need some refining, so am continuing to learn what it truly means to trust and to pray and praise God along the way!!
Ethan tidbit- We did end the day with Ethan enjoying a small bowl of chocolate pudding with whipped cream and a cherry on top! I told him I was SO happy he had been in my life for 26 months today and that we should celebrate. I was about to ask him what he would like to do, just for fun to see what he would say. Before I even had a chance, he said, "cake & ice cream!" I told him we would save that for his year celebrations! :-)
3 comments:
Just so you know.. what you were able to accomplish today was far more than many of your readers (especially myself) EVER accomplish in a day... even without a kid! You are so AMAZING! I personally think your rest is WELL DESERVED!!!! You are a great mom.
I am also in awe of what you did get done today. You have an amazing capacity for accomplishing tasks. Thanks for sharing your heart through this blog. I am confident that God will use your vulnerability and authenticity to work in others' lives as well as your own. You certainly bless me with it.
Love, Jimi
Elizabeth, I just discovered your blog and finished reading through each of your posts. I feel so privileged to know your deepest, most sincere thoughts AND to keep abreast of your most current activities and needs.
I have so many thoughts running through my head such as you are not only doing a fine job, you are doing an exceptional job of being a mother to Ethan, even on "bad days"! Because you love him, want the best for him, and are willing to spend time with him, you are already way ahead of the game. If we are going to be completely honest, you are the better mother of you and me...but that's another story for another day.
Having said that, I don't think you or I are 100% responsible for raising our kids, which is actually quite freeing! Like you've said, you have your family, friends, and God. I don't mean to soundy preachy...I just mean to lighten such a heavy burden.
Before my computer shuts off ;) I want you to know you can call any time for any reason and I will drop whatever I am doing. Whether it be you want to stop at JV's for some coffee not alone, whether you need a break from Ethan so you can regather yourself, whether you are lonely and want company (even if you don't know what you want to do!), whether you are fighting lies from Satan and want someone to pray over you, the list goes on and on...just call.
I love you.
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