Blessings

I have realized that every day is going to be a battle. There are so many days I just want to pull the covers over my head and throw myself a big pity party and think about all that I don't have now (my husband, my dreams, my big family, etc) and all that others do have. BUT, I refuse to let Satan get the best of me and so I get out of bed every day, pray that God will fill me with joy and hope (Rom. 15:13) and set a good example for Ethan that day. I want to be the BEST mom I can be and show him that life is good, not because of what we have, but because of WHO we have and what we ARE in Christ!!

So...to do this, I MUST focus on the blessings that surround me.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me that you ARE faithful to provide for my every need. The bills are paid, we have a home, food, and clothes on our backs. I have AMAZING friends and family who have not only helped in this provision, but spoiled us (just as Rich would have done). For that, I am SO thankful!! There has not been a holiday, anniversary, or special occasion that has gone by without others thinking of me. I have received gifts, flowers, visits, cards, monetary gifts, and hugs that I have needed. Some people have even been open enough to share their tears with me. How special it is to see that they care enough to take that on FOR me at times and at other times share it WITH me. God has provided a car that is reliable and safe and even roomy enough for all of our trips to Derby, Texas, or wherever we may be going in the future. I have a house that was renovated by generous donations of time and money from the wonderful people at my church. I have a backyard that is safe for my sweet boy to play in thanks to an amazing group of men that came in and put up a beautiful fence in just a few hours!! I was blessed with someone to mow my lawn from August until the first freeze. I had SO much food brought to my house that I had to give some of it away! I am still using paper goods and bought my first package of diapers after 8 months of provision.

Yet, even when I focus on ALL of the many blessings, if I am completely honest with myself and to God, I have to say...it still hurts. I still struggle with intense fits of loneliness, sadness, and even jealousy of my own dear friends and their families. I don't want to have these feelings and I try my best to give them up to God over and over again. So, I MUST grasp on to truth..."Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed. His mercies are new every morning! Great is Your faithfulness!!"

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at times in every way." II Thess. 3:16

"God will meet ALL your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19