Contentment

Today was a really good day. I just love the rainy weather and the cool air of fall coming our way. I had fun on a playdate with Ethan in the rain at the park. Then we went to the library (even though we were a bit wet and dirty) and enjoyed some time checking out the fish, playing with Legos, looking for new books, and of course checking out a new "Veggie" video and "Toot Toot" video (also known as the Wiggles and the Big Red Car). After our adventures at the library, we headed home for a quick lunch and then I put Ethan down for a nap. As he slept, I began frantically searching for a tux for him for THIS weekend. Long story, but the bride of the wedding he is in had some trouble with the site she was ordering his outfit from and they failed to deliver. Thankfully, God provided within hours! Amazing!! (And it ended up being FREE since we are borrowing it which made it even more of a blessing!) This evening, we had a bit more time to play in the rain after dinner and then took a quick run to Amoco for a hot drink. I came home and fixed Ethan some semi-hot chocolate and we sipped our drinks together as we read his new books from the library. After Ethan's bath (always a highlight at our house), I was happy that he settled down for bed without any fuss. We have both been pushing his bedtime back a bit further each night, and therefore waking up later in the morning. This is going to cause problems with MOPS and Bible study starting up, and so I am working on getting him back to bed closer to 7:30. I know that sounds early, but he is an excellent sleeper (Thank you, Lord!) and so sleeps a solid 12 hours a night! As I settled down for the evening with the rest of my drink and some quiet time with my Lord, I started contemplating what made today so good when just days ago I was all over the place with my emotions. I decided to do a bit of study on contentment and focus on trying to be more content at all times.

When I think about contentment, one of the first Biblical people that comes to mind is Paul. He talks about this a lot even in the midst of his suffering. (and he did endure a LOT of suffering!) "I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." ~Phil. 4:11-12
We are SO surrounded in our society with wants and "needs". Everyone thinks they will finally be content when they just get _____ or have more _____. It seems like contentment is just around the corner. It is engrained in our way of life. I so often hear, "I'll be happy as a mom when my kid will just learn to listen, or learn to obey, or learn to walk, talk, etc. etc." "I will be happy in my marriage if I could just get my husband to pay more attention to my needs, or I can get some time to myself." "I will love my house when I can just get that one room painted or finish decorating such and such room." "I will be happy when we have a bigger house or more money or are debt-free (which IS a good place to be, but again, does NOT make you happy!)." I have found myself saying some of these things as well or others such as, "If only I had Rich back, I would never complain again about anything and I would only encourage and build him up." I strived to do that before, but I was NOT perfect. And, sad to say, even if I were given a second chance, I would probably fail again.

Contentment is not something that comes naturally. It is something we must strive for daily! Even Paul said that he had "learned" to be content. He didn't do this just through the power of positive thinking. He had to endure some REAL hardships. He was mistreated, unfed, imprisoned, beaten, and treated very unfairly. Where did his contentment come from? It came from God. I just read this recently and loved the way it was phrased... "To be content doesn't mean that you don't care what happens, that you are indifferent to your surroundings or your sufferings. To be content means that you are at peace in the sufficiency of Christ, regardless. We think we will be content when we finally get what we want, but real contentment is when we accept less than or something other than what we want. Jesus is our source for the spiritual strength we need to live with what we didn't ask for and less than we want, to be satisfied even when our stomachs or our hearts are empty."

It makes me think about the song, "It is Well With My Soul". This was a favorite hymn of Rich's. We had actually both said at one time that it was a must play at our own funerals some day. Of course, I was expecting that to come much further down the road, but even still, it had a lot of memories behind it. Even though I had grown up hearing that song so many times and even at many other funerals, it was Rich that first explained the story behind it to me. (He was full of information!) He explained that Spafford had written those words as he traveled by ship to join his grief-stricken wife in England, who herself had just barely survived as she watched her four daughters drown in a storm and their ship sank. "Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul." So many others before me have also been struck with unfortunate loss. I have even had people email or post notes on this blog telling me about such losses. It is encouraging, NOT that others have had to go through similar pain, but that there IS hope and contentment in one source that never changes. Though our circumstances around us are always changing, and not always to our liking, my God never changes. "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13: 5b)

So as I look back over my day, I can tell you that there was nothing monumental about my day that made it so much better. I just think I am going through a process that is teaching me to be content. There are some days where I am probably going to be more content than others. As I walk into MOPS tomorrow morning, I will have to force my mind to "not go there" when it comes to jealousy about what others may have that I do not. There may be lots of pregnant bellies walking around or lots of wedding rings flashing at me reminding me that they "belong" to someone. But, ultimately, I can be content in what I DO have. I have a God that has never left my side through my suffering. I have a God who has great plans for my life and a future in heaven with Him. I also have amazing friends in that group of women who have encouraged me endlessly and have never once made me feel like an outsider. I have been blessed with one adorable bundle of joy named Ethan and I will treasure each day I have with him. I have a supportive and loving family. I have a home of my own and the blessing of being in it daily as I invest in the life of my child and get to spend my day playing in the rain and looking for "tiny frogs" and "fuzzy worms". And most importantly, I have a future that is in God's hands and He desires the best for my life! How can one not be content knowing that? All of the "things" and desires of this world quickly fade away when I look for my contentment in Him!

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!" ~Hebrews 13:8