Bountiful Blessings and Lessons

Another week has gone by quickly. I feel like my life is definitely back to a bit more of a "normal". Yet, there are some things in my life that I would like to stay changedforever! I don't want to have gone through such a traumatic change in my life and not have God use it to shape me into more of who He desires for me to be. I find myself easily slipping back into being a bit lazy with my personal time with Him. I don't think I could ever give it up completely. A part of me is scared to not spend daily time with Him. I think it is more of a good scare...kind of the whole fearing God concept. I want to be close to Him and, honestly, it scares me how far I would fall if I were not to fill my mind with His truth daily. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day activities though and not think about all of the opportunities we have to expand His kingdom for eternity! I run into people daily and I wonder how they make it through this life without Him. My heart has definitely been softened for hurting people. I can't even hardly watch the news anymore without wanting to write a letter to this or that person that has lost someone in their life. I know I can't reach everyone, but it just breaks my heart to think of losing someone you love. I just want them to know that someone cares and is praying for them.

It can be hard being so sensitive to what is going on around you, but I think that is what we are called to do. I WANT to notice all of the opportunities that surround me. Yet, I find myself often being irritated rather than softened by the people that surround me in this world. It is easier to get annoyed rather than to stop and pray for that person that cut you off and then flips you off while driving down the road. At least Ethan is innocent enough to wave back and say, "Hi!" :-) There is a LOT of wisdom in the idea of having faith like a child. I want the innocence that I see on a daily basis in Ethan to rub off on me. It breaks my heart to think that he will someday be exposed to the harsh realities of this world. I pray his heart will never be hardened, but that he will keep his sweet demeanor as he loves others like Christ would want us to love others. Lately, his favorite phrase is, "No problem." It makes me smile and reminds me that, in the grand scheme of things, it really is no problem!

I have read recently, and a friend also mentioned to me that I must be living life with a foot here on earth and a foot in heaven. I often feel like this and I used to feel guilty for wanting to be there instead of here at times. Yet, I know we will never be truly satisfied on this earth due to the imperfections (the sin). I think it is natural to long to be there, but God has placed us here for a reason. If he were ready for me to be there, I can see that there is no guarantee that will not be tomorrow. So, until then, I want to live my life running to Him in everything I do. I don't want to settle into the day-to-day and be satisfied with that. I want to be so excited about Him, that others cannot help but ask. I also want Ethan to grow up seeing firsthand that Christ DOES make a difference in your life!

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall" (Malachi 4:2). I want to be a calf! He he

There are so many distractions in this world. It is almost humorous to me that we all seem to be in this race of life trying to get more and more material things...for what?! So they can all burn? I find myself getting caught up in it too. I am more than blessed with all I have and yet God continues to provide! Just this last week, I received yet another generous donation in the Heyroth account. I keep thinking I should close it, but money just keeps appearing! It brings me to tears every time that others love so generously and don't want Ethan and me to do without anything. He continues to provide. Another huge blessing this past week is that Ethan was approved for Healthwave. This allows me to pay just a very small amount monthly for his health insurance and makes my health plan so much more affordable. Yet again, God provides! I was reminded of yet another quote I read..."Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness." Isn't that so true? "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matt. 7:34 & 27) AND, God continued to bless me by providing me with a very successful garage sale. As I counted the grand total, I was shocked. I made almost five hundred dollars. It was almost like the feeding of the five thousand. :-) I really didn't have that much to sell, but the money just continued to come and come.

Another lesson I have learned is the value in forming new friendships. Don't get me wrong, I will continue to develop the friendships I have as well. In fact, without the people God placed in my life, I don't know how I would be where I am today. Yet, there are still times when I just don't know where I fit. I have been looking into Sunday School classes and though there are classes for married, singles, families, and even single moms, I have just been a bit fearful of taking the plunge. I feel so loved and accepted by everyone, but I sometimes feel like my own category. I realize and am accepting now that I am no longer married. Yet, I don't really feel single. However, I would much rather use the word single than widowed. I have been contemplating the idea of going on a retreat with singles coming up in November. At first I was completely opposed to the idea. But, the longer I thought about it, the more I thought it may be a good step. This past week I have had a few late nights hanging out with one old friend and a couple of new friends. I have discovered there is something really healthy in forming new relationships with people that did not even know Rich. I remember learning about that at one point in Grief Share, but at the time, thought that was ridiculous because of all of the support I was getting from my friends. Yet, I can also see the wisdom in realizing that I am starting a new chapter in my life. The past will always be part of my "book" and has helped develop the plot, but there are also so many new beginnings. These people also know me just for me and not my grief. It is kind of refreshing to begin new friendships. I'm trying to get excited about and look forward to how my book is going to continue to develop. I'm just thankful that I DO know the ending!

I have started reading Desiring God by John Piper. I read this book in college and was very challenged by some of the ideas. It is so interesting how differently I view it now that I have actually "lived life" a little. Yet, there is one quote that I will always remember from this book. It is what actually inspired me to pick it up and read it again. "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." I want to live a life that brings God glory. Being the people-pleaser that I am, it is easy to find myself wanting to DO more and more. It was good to be reminded that He is glorified by me just finding my hope and joy in knowing Him!! I think the more I learn about who He is, the more I naturally do the things He desires for me to do.

Disappear by Bebo Norman
My video lesson of the week--
He says it all much more eloquently than I could! :-)