Here Come the Holidays...

It is that time of year again...the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year". My favorite season is actually fall, winter, spring, and summer. :-) There are just things I love about every season!! Yet, there IS something special about this time of year. There are two ways I can choose to approach the upcoming holidays...
1) With joy and excitement of ALL I have to be thankful for and been given OR
2) With grief and sadness of ALL that is missing

I choose to go with choice #1!! JUST as I sat down to blog tonight, I received such an encouraging email from a friend. It reminded me that God's plan is SO much bigger than I could ever imagine for my life. In it there was a reference to the verse Jeremiah 29:11...one that I have been reminded of a lot lately. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"....BUT it continues..."Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." People often forget the next two verses. These verses are not really about ME at all. They are about GOD! Our whole purpose on this earth is not really about ME, it is about HIM! His plan to prosper me is for HIS glory. YES, I know I have hope and a future...that is made very clear throughout His Word as we look forward to our eternity with Him. My whole purpose on this earth is really just to lead others to His feet; not to mine! When I take the focus off of myself and am reminded of this truth, I am able to choose choice #1 with all of my heart!

There is still loneliness and are moments of deep hurt as I read FB status after FB status of those sweet husbands and new babies. Yet, God didn't say His plan would be free of pain, just free of harm. He does not allow anything to happen in my life that does not fit into His perfect plan. Maybe he brought me into this world with the sole purpose of having me marry Rich and allow me to lose him tragically so that more people would be able to join us all in eternity. There HAS been so much fruit that has come from this all. I know He has and will continue to use me for other purposes as well. But, whatever it may be, I pray that I would be able to seek HIM with all of my heart and learn to perfectly trust Him along the way.

I am SO far from where I would like to be in my journey of Perfect Trust. One would think after God has continued to show Himself to me over and over again, it would be a breeze. But, nope, I STILL have to wake up each morning and choose that I will follow Him. Life is ALL about choices. It comes up in mothering often as I talk to my three year old about "making good choices". I think there are times when I should probably go to "time-out" myself so that I can think through the decisions I have made.

I would like to think that I will get through Thanksgiving and the whole month of December without a single tear. But, realistically, I know that is not going to happen. I still am going to miss Rich. I'm not sure that will ever completely go away. But, I WILL have Holiday Joy! After all, Christmas is, once again, NOT ABOUT US! I am reminded to face the holidays with one of my favorite quotes in mind "Happiness is based on circumstances, but JOY is based on God!" Even in moments of sadness, one can be SO filled with Joy! It never leaves us when we have Christ in our lives...and for THAT, I am SO Thankful!! :-)

Still getting used to my "new normal" a bit, but SO thankful I do have a future here on earth and in eternity with my Jesus! Since I have been blessed with another day, I choose to live it with a thankful heart....

Knowing You